The ride report 03-11–2019

The weather gods smiled benignly and gave us a window of sunshine for the club run, not a bad start. The topic of conversation at the start was the post story this week that in 80 years time our starting point will be under water. As we went out along Jersey Marine it seems that it was starting early with some truly stupendous puddles and the whole cycle track under water at some points; anybody would think we’ve had rain. My plan, as I’ve still got that cold was to avoid the hilly bit to Bryn and stop at the Afan Lodge for a coffee; clearly the deluded thoughts of someone who has never ridden through Goetre. A horrible hill, steep, slippery and on the winter bike. At ¾ of the way up I was breathing through a cheese grater and walked the last bit. JemW missed the ride, something about muddy trails; he should have come with us. I’ve been down smoother cleaner farmtracks than the Goetre to Bryn road. I then peeled off for home as enough was enough. Hopefully all the rest made it without further incident.

Carreg Cennen next week, more hills.

JC

The ride report 27-10-2019

The clocks going back and beautiful sunshine promised a good turn-out; though the police marshalling at the start seemed a little excessive. Undaunted the intrepid 7 set off; yours truly not amongst them due to a nasty cold; I’d only turned up to get the points scores and take a few photo’s. Followed the route for enough time to get an action shot of Trevor re-adjusting his newly adjusted front shift and one of Steve P lying in ambush for the group on the Loughor bridge. Hopefully back in action next week

JC

Ride of Hope for Rhys

The ride report 13-10-2019

The weather forecast was appalling, it would have frightened Noah. Nevertheless, at the liberty at 8:30 were 3 hardy souls suitably attired ready for a trip to Porthcawl. There was also a guest appearance from Eduardo who was riding a bike that appeared to have all his worldly goods attached. Turns out he is riding for Rhys; a cause we can all support. He did hand out a flyer with the details, but in my case it didn’t survive the ride and washing machine treatment. He is crowdfunding on just giving with a target of over £8,000.00 so any contribution would be gratefully received, the link below should give you a good place to start.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/cycle-for-hope

The forecast for next week is sunny intervals and a moderate breeze, let us hope.

JC

The ride report 20-10-2019

A beautiful day for it, even if a little chilly, and 6 hardy souls ready for the ride. Jeremy claiming to be exhausted and spent by the ride to the liberty, and me struggling with the effect of having double gins in both hands for too much of the weekend suggested we were going to have a tough day, despite the sunshine. Turns out you can use the ‘the sun is too low in the sky and reflecting of the wet road surface’ as another excuse as well.

Despite the moans we set off, Simon bravely showing no ill effects of his recent losses. I hope we’re all keeping an eye out. It was clearly an amateur job so they may just be stupid enough to try and dispose of their ill-gotten gains locally.

As planned Simon peeled off at Neath and headed for Pontardawe; he thought Ystradfelte a bit too far at the moment. As it turned out I was agreeing with him. It was clear it would take me all day to get to Heol Senni, or at least an hour longer than everybody else so I announced I was stopping at PNV for coffee and to consider my options, that was the clincher for Jeremy, he decided to join me. The domino effect then kicked in fully and we all stopped for coffee.

It was a case of excellent timing, we trooped into the coffee shop moments before Wales scored the winning try so we celebrated with coffee and bacon sandwiches.

Trevor confirmed the spin situation and has put an update on facebook, it looks like Penlan Leisure centre (I never knew they had one?); please let him know your intentions ASAP.

A unanimous change of route was then agreed with the IVR and Swansea valley option picked for the route home. The climb up the IVR was confirmation for some of us that the right decision had been made. The run down valley enjoyed by all, despite a tractor and trailer getting in the way for the Ystradgynlais by-pass.

Next week the clocks go back, so winter timing and the mudguard rule will be applied

JC

January 20 th

I revved so much that I began to notice a dull red glow from my chain as it heated up after Pembrey. The cafe at Kidwelly was full of members who had sworn to go on to Ferryside or be damned! The matron of the cafe was baffled by the question “when does a bacon roll become a bacon buttie”? ” When it’s a Rhubarb flan”, was not the answer she was expecting. The damned decided not to go to Ferryside, but instead to chase down Cycle cafe back to Swansea. I am told by a reliable source that there was road race on the Pembrey circuit that had a  slower average  speed than the club run!!. I am told to consult Strava for details. See you next week,   Bob.H.

January 13 th

I ran out of fingers to count on when I saw the number of members at the Liberty this morning. This amount of members has not been surpassed since the summer of 2017. The number was increased by 3 at Crofty, where innocent bystanders, minding their own business, were pressed ganged into the club photo! Nic C. was swift in handing out membership forms with threats of”you’ll never see your bikes or your family again” if you don’t sign.  With Tim Needham  glaring they were only too happy to oblige.

January 6th 2019

Whilst everyone stood around admiring Trev’s new winter special, John C; Paul W. And I made our getaway and threw everything into getting to Carreg Cennen first.  Paul W’s lack of training began to show on the steep slopes, but crowds of people lined the steep climb to the castle in awe and admiration at John C. Who at his first attempt at the gradient scorched his way up with grim determination.

November 17th

Do you know the difference between “clockwise and anticlockwise” Bob?  Asked Ian T. In desperation? I said “Its my mothers sister studying her wristwatch” He was not amused.  “We are in Banwen when we should be in Crynant”    However, after losing each other on the cycle path we all made it to the cafe in PNV.  The members had to wait so long for their bacon butties that Mark(tart) williams decided to organise a “pig hunt” and cook their own!  Trevor disclosed that we may have to wait until Dec 2019 or Brexit, which ever was the sooner, for the AGM. Jeremy D. said we could take it turns to drive his Jag or pigs might fly before we have an AGM.!  Bob H. sometime club captain.

September 30th

Isn’t life strange? Little did we know that Gary W. is a cycling gymnast and dancer!  Despite regulation 36B (second paragraph) in the club rule book stating “No dancing allowed at the Liberty” (or anywhere else) Gary insisted on dancing the fandango on his top tube. Sadly it all caught on with John C. trying to loop the loop on the ramp when setting off.  fortunately, all these acrobatics didn’t end in tears and we all set off for the challenge of Marsh road. The split came at Port Talbot, the faster riders setting off up the Afan valley on the road whilst the slower members went via the cycle path dodging dog poo and pushchairs.

“The coffee machine isn’t working” (now where have i heard that before?) said the waitress at the Valley cafe in Maesteg.  We stood there wet and bedraggled in disbelief. We’ve just been over the col de Cearau luv” we said “We need sustenance”  Oh! alright ,if you wait 10 mins I’ll brew up.  True to her word, we emerged refreshed, with weather improved we flew down the valley to Tondu.  Ian T. did a sterling job helping John C. limp home with broken spokes in his back wheel, whilst I shepherded Nick the beard back to Swansea as he didn’t know where he was.(This is not unusual with certain club members)  I am told to remind you all that we are meeting at the Liberty at 9.00 a.m. next Sunday and every Sunday until it gets really dark in the mornings.  So 9.0 a.m. then for the Hill climb championship and the club run points presentation.   Bob H.   P.S.  New season club runs begin on Oct. 14th.  Those interested in going on the Aberystwyth weekend please contact Trevor. There are 6 club run points for that weekends ride.  Bob.H club captain.

July 22nd 2018

I love my bike(s) and I am very attached to them, but after spilling my gooey energy gel over my hands I found I was stuck fast to the handlebars. It took several members using tyre levers etc. to prise me off my bike and unsuper glue me from the bars. Members kept well away from me until I washed my hands outside the New Inn pub ,but were reluctant to shake hands! The ghostly image of John Franklyn  appeared at the Liberty. There was a lot of poking and prodding to see if it was flesh. We were further alarmed to see the spectre of Marc Noall appear from nowhere on a pink bike, which also turned out to be real. (Mark and the bike) Simon H. John F. and Dave the Gough  headed back to the city at 7 sisters whilst the rest pressed on towards Penderyn .After we were joined by Phil Graham the fast group decided the cafe stop was to be the Brecon mountain centre,whilst Bob plunged down the hairpins to Ysdradfellte. I was towed down the Neath valley by 8 riders from Ogmore valley Wheelers who seemed to be having a team time trial. I think they were hinting at something when one said”Would I like to take a turn at the front”?  Bob H.

July 15th 2018

Coffee 1 in Brecon seemed a good idea for some but others with a typical cyclists acumen for seeking out the best coffee deal went to Greggs around the corner!  Leaving the town the fast group decided to return by way of the reservoirs, whilst Ian T, John C and me headed for Mynydd Illtyd and another cafe stop at The “Old School” in Defynnog. After sitting lazily for far too long we began the long trek back down the Swansea valley, only to stop when John C discovered he had left his helmet behind at the cafe!

July 1st 2018

“I know a fabulous B road to Carreg Cennen” said Mark W. in one of his more frivolous moments. Eagerly he led us to our doom and a succession of steep hills and cattle grids. The strange phenomenon was that the further we cycled the further we appeared to get from Carreg Cennen. After spiralling around the castle several times we achieved touchdown at the cafe,much to the relief of the “fast” group, who thought we had totally disappeared, probably abducted by aliens etc.

Congratulations to our two” French” Bulgarians who did well to get round the challenging endless course and who hopefully missed the thunder showers on the way back.  Bob H.

June 24 th 2018

Question, what’s the difference between a red plastic bottle of tomato sauce In Mr. Carpanini,s cafe and Bobs bidon?  Answer…ones got tomato sauce inside,Bobs bottle hasn’t!  Please could someone tell Nathan the difference before the next time he squirts electrolyte drinks onto his cheese buttie.  This was one of the big tests of the year for the club captain. Failure to get round the course would result in immediate banishment from the club and a severe beating. I narrowly missed both!  We approached Penrhys monument and Maerdy mountain with the greatest respect and the judicious use of a 30 tooth sprocket..  The weather and the breeze was with the 5 Swansea wheelers .A great ride.Hope my legs recover by next Sunday.  Bob H.

Sunday 17th June 2018

Forgetting it was Fathers day, three ,less than wise members set off up the Swansea valley and decided it was not a good idea to go any further than Ystradgynlais…..which we didn’t!  Not everybody has a valley you know. People who live on coastal areas and flat bits of the country don’t have a valley to call their own. If you live in South Wales and don’t have a valley, you are regarded as nobodies and despised. Everybody should have a valley to their name. Jeremy D. has TWO valleys as he lives in Rhos which he is always bragging about. Simon H. tried in vain to persuade us that there is a valley in Langland….no way. Goytre and Dulais valleys are less desirable than say Neath valley which has it’s own road and was nominated “valley of the year 1066”, cost us a fortune at Sotheby’s. All valleys have to be naturally formed as it is illegal to create your own valley, Dare valley is very suspect.  Rob M, David Gutierrez and Bob H. got wet going down the Dulais valley and decided to go home to, hell with valleys.  Bob H.

Sunday 13th May 2018

Trevor Thor Lloyd (That’s right, Thor is the god with the hammer) hammered his way up the Swansea valley towing us mere mortals in his wake. The command to turn LEFT at Tafern yr Garreg sent a bolt of fear down my spine . The climb took me 24 mins and 9 secs  of agony to reach the summit. Surprise!.. despite setting off 5 mins  later than the rest of us, Mark W. thanks to Tele –transportation,  Salbutamol and choosing the right worm hole in the space/time continuum arrived at the cafe in Sennybridge BEFORE us. It is rumoured that he rematerialized amongst a group of motor cyclists having a quiet coffee causing them to run for their bikes and rev wildly.  Nathan T. gave detailed instructions on how to butcher a pig and make enough sausages for 10 years and rambled on about putting pepper on a pig or something crazy. It put Trev off his sausages and bacon. Thanks to Nic Cleave for formulating a 25 year training plan of marginal gains for me, although I need to speak to him urgently as I was 13 secs slower up the Devil’s elbow than last year. God, if that was the devil’s elbow I wouldn’t like to go up his spine.  Rob M., Ian T. and I, won’t be out next week as we are riding a sportive in Bristol.   Bob H.

May 6th 2018

April 22 2018

On a disappointingly wet morning a three way split happened at Glynneath. Not feeling “up to the mark” I joined Simon H. and Mark re-joined W. and trudged up Heartbreak Hill and over to the Swansea valley. Meanwhile, for a lark Ian T. decided to escort John C. to the top of the Rhigos and down into Treorchy, neglecting to tell him there was now no way back! Meanwhile the others Rob.M Nic C. Trev L,Jeremy D. pressed on towards Brecon? Meanwhile Simon, Mark and I had our feet up in the cafe in Ystradgynlais, meanwhile Ian T thought it would be an even better idea to take John C. over the Bwlch and down the Afan valley. Meanwhile Simon, Mark and I decided to pay Gerald W. a visit in near by Cwmtwrch,but hard luck he was out on his bike!  Meanwhile, Ian T. having half killed John decided he must have a final dose of medicine by teasing him up Skewen Hill. Meanwhile, I had teased myself over the hill to Neath, whilst the four hard riders were slogging it down the Swansea valley.  Mercifully The Maerdy Mountain ride will have to be left for another day.   Bob H.

April 8th 2018

Isn’t it strange that members who when faced with incontrovertible evidence swear blind they have more club run points than appears on the result sheet. To avoid fighting and the kicking over of bikes outside the King Arthur some members had to be physically restrained. Some claimed more points than there were club runs,others wanted extra points for having a pump and lights! some others wanted the points back dated to the year 2000!! others wanted points for Sunday’s when there was no club run!!! New member Andy Jones looked terrified and said he didn’t want any points anyway. Ian T. who wanted no part in the fighting dashed off to Majorca for 2 weeks,whilst Trev.L and Steve P disappeared off to the Cotswold, claiming they were taking part in some weird race  called the”hell of the Cotswolds” It was hell here let me tell you!  There were only six of us but it was a lovely ride around the Gower,and welcome back to Mark Williams.  See you next week.  Bob H.

March 25th 2018

Mary Berry would have been pleased to see the Wheelers tackle the great County cycles cake fest. A sponge lovingly and laboriously prepared by the lady from the Builth Wells sportive,vanished in seconds. Meanwhile Dave G. and myself quaffed coffee in the Subway in Ammanford, yes the coffee machine after endless repairs is now working. The ascent of Mynydd –y-Gwair was relatively benign this year with favourable weather conditions, but suddenly there was an almighty gust of wind. Rob M and I were blown sideways as Steve P. stormed past leaving us wide eyed in astonishment. Seems he wanted to be in the front for the new web site photo! See you all for the Rhys Williams charity ride next Sat. Bob H.