January 20 th
I revved so much that I began to notice a dull red glow from my chain as it heated up after Pembrey. The cafe at Kidwelly was full of members who had sworn to go on to Ferryside or be damned! The matron of the cafe was baffled by the question “when does a bacon roll become a bacon buttie”? ” When it’s a Rhubarb flan”, was not the answer she was expecting. The damned decided not to go to Ferryside, but instead to chase down Cycle cafe back to Swansea. I am told by a reliable source that there was road race on the Pembrey circuit that had a slower average speed than the club run!!. I am told to consult Strava for details. See you next week, Bob.H.
January 13 th
I ran out of fingers to count on when I saw the number of members at the Liberty this morning. This amount of members has not been surpassed since the summer of 2017. The number was increased by 3 at Crofty, where innocent bystanders, minding their own business, were pressed ganged into the club photo! Nic C. was swift in handing out membership forms with threats of”you’ll never see your bikes or your family again” if you don’t sign. With Tim Needham glaring they were only too happy to oblige.
Poor Jeremy D left the King Arthur only to find he had a rear wheel puncture. Thanks to my excellent tutelage I showed him the time honoured “belly flip” method of getting the last part of the tyre on the rim. (Please don’t try this at home.) After Mark W. Joined us,we battled over the “big sky” common of Fairwood and the cycle path to Blackpill. There were whispered hints of an AGM!!
January 6th 2019
Whilst everyone stood around admiring Trev’s new winter special, John C; Paul W. And I made our getaway and threw everything into getting to Carreg Cennen first. Paul W’s lack of training began to show on the steep slopes, but crowds of people lined the steep climb to the castle in awe and admiration at John C. Who at his first attempt at the gradient scorched his way up with grim determination.
Do you know the difference between “clockwise and anticlockwise” Bob? Asked Ian T. In desperation? I said “Its my mothers sister studying her wristwatch” He was not amused. “We are in Banwen when we should be in Crynant” However, after losing each other on the cycle path we all made it to the cafe in PNV. The members had to wait so long for their bacon butties that Mark(tart) williams decided to organise a “pig hunt” and cook their own! Trevor disclosed that we may have to wait until Dec 2019 or Brexit, which ever was the sooner, for the AGM. Jeremy D. said we could take it turns to drive his Jag or pigs might fly before we have an AGM.! Bob H. sometime club captain.
“I know a fabulous B road to Carreg Cennen” said Mark W. in one of his more frivolous moments. Eagerly he led us to our doom and a succession of steep hills and cattle grids. The strange phenomenon was that the further we cycled the further we appeared to get from Carreg Cennen. After spiralling around the castle several times we achieved touchdown at the cafe,much to the relief of the “fast” group, who thought we had totally disappeared, probably abducted by aliens etc.
May 6th 2018
April 22 2018
On a disappointingly wet morning a three way split happened at Glynneath. Not feeling “up to the mark” I joined Simon H. and Mark re-joined W. and trudged up Heartbreak Hill and over to the Swansea valley. Meanwhile, for a lark Ian T. decided to escort John C. to the top of the Rhigos and down into Treorchy, neglecting to tell him there was now no way back! Meanwhile the others Rob.M Nic C. Trev L,Jeremy D. pressed on towards Brecon? Meanwhile Simon, Mark and I had our feet up in the cafe in Ystradgynlais, meanwhile Ian T thought it would be an even better idea to take John C. over the Bwlch and down the Afan valley. Meanwhile Simon, Mark and I decided to pay Gerald W. a visit in near by Cwmtwrch,but hard luck he was out on his bike! Meanwhile, Ian T. having half killed John decided he must have a final dose of medicine by teasing him up Skewen Hill. Meanwhile, I had teased myself over the hill to Neath, whilst the four hard riders were slogging it down the Swansea valley. Mercifully The Maerdy Mountain ride will have to be left for another day. Bob H.
April 8th 2018
Isn’t it strange that members who when faced with incontrovertible evidence swear blind they have more club run points than appears on the result sheet. To avoid fighting and the kicking over of bikes outside the King Arthur some members had to be physically restrained. Some claimed more points than there were club runs,others wanted extra points for having a pump and lights! some others wanted the points back dated to the year 2000!! others wanted points for Sunday’s when there was no club run!!! New member Andy Jones looked terrified and said he didn’t want any points anyway. Ian T. who wanted no part in the fighting dashed off to Majorca for 2 weeks,whilst Trev.L and Steve P disappeared off to the Cotswold, claiming they were taking part in some weird race called the”hell of the Cotswolds” It was hell here let me tell you! There were only six of us but it was a lovely ride around the Gower,and welcome back to Mark Williams. See you next week. Bob H.
March 25th 2018
Mary Berry would have been pleased to see the Wheelers tackle the great County cycles cake fest. A sponge lovingly and laboriously prepared by the lady from the Builth Wells sportive,vanished in seconds. Meanwhile Dave G. and myself quaffed coffee in the Subway in Ammanford, yes the coffee machine after endless repairs is now working. The ascent of Mynydd –y-Gwair was relatively benign this year with favourable weather conditions, but suddenly there was an almighty gust of wind. Rob M and I were blown sideways as Steve P. stormed past leaving us wide eyed in astonishment. Seems he wanted to be in the front for the new web site photo! See you all for the Rhys Williams charity ride next Sat. Bob H.
March 11th 2018
February 18th 2018
Just how many Swansea wheelers does it take to repair a puncture standing in cow muck on a windy Stormy Down? Answer…just Trev. Plus half a dozen ineffective pumps of all sizes and shapes and a selection of inner tubes of miniscule dimensions! Thanks to Steve P. we would still be standing there. We eventually reached Sidoli’s where we were ushered to the far corner to be kept away from decent people who were likely to catch something nasty from us like leprosy, syphilis or chilblains. After we untangled the bikes from maze of bike lock cables we had a pleasant ride home with the wind behind us floating down the Margam by-pass bemused at riders struggling in the opposite direction. It’s not so flat next week! Bob H.
Feb 11 2018
“Did you hear about that”? What? “The fire brigade had to be called out last Sunday after Trevor Lloyds cycling shorts caught fire after over revving down the Swansea valley” He generated so much heat on a dinner plate gear of 34 x –54 that smoke came from his backside. Jeremy D. said “I’m not riding behind him in case the flames spread” Lessons have been learnt. He was seen this Sunday on a “normal winter bike” (and new shorts) Talking about new, John Cundy turns up on a state of the art new Cube carbon fibre super de lux! I think he must be getting serious. I am still taking the sea sickness tablets after the disturbing motions of the infamous Pantyffynon bridge. Great news for all you time triallists….they are resurfacing large sections of the Neath valley.Next club run in that area, Feb.25th. All for now, see you next week, Bob H.
February 4th 2018
Who’s that? Who’s that coming round the roundabout? It can’t be…it’s …..John Franklyn! So he hadn’t run away to join the circus after all. The rumours people make up , honestly. What next? they’ll be saying wild exaggerations like “ Trevor Lloyd was EARLY this morning. The 12 of us tried to ride behind Simon H into a freezing wind up the Swansea valley. Regrettably four of had had enough by the time we got to Tavern-y-Garreg and decided to retreat to the cafe in Ystradgynlais to discuss ATM machines and Netflix. I hope the rest of you had some nourishing bacon butties at Sennybridge and got home safely. Bob H.
January 14th 2018
7 started from Liberty, picked up 3 in Gowerton off down to Port Eynon,the only problem cafes closed. Back up the hill to Archery centre for coffee , lost Rob in orange jacket. punched on way out of Port Eynon. We all got back, Trev with a Dinner plate on his back wheel went up and down Swansea valley, to but 1 or 2 miles in.
January 7th 2018
“C’mon” said Rob M. we have to meet Steve P. at Penllergaer and Trevor has a painful ankle.. Let’s get going it’s freezing here! “ Watch the ice” said Simon H. as we headed for Chemical road. When we reached Steve we decided to split into two groups, the faster heading for Carreg Cennen and the slower to Subway Cafe in Ammanford. We tucked into our Balaclavas and slogged our way through Pontardulais and Fforest and Ammanford. We discussed what was going on the agenda for the forthcoming A.G.M. over the worst hot chocolate I have ever experienced. “At least it is piping hot” said Ian T. Hope everyone survived the freezing wind on the way home.
December 31st 2017
December 3rd 2017
November 26th 2017
“It sets your teeth on edge”, doesn’t it? Jeremy D’s disc brakes I mean. Ian T handed out the ear plugs before we left the Liberty. We rendezvoused with Steve P at Gowerton, he claimed he could hear Jeremy’s brakes in Waunarlwydd! The roads were dry and the traffic was light and we reached Rhossili in sunshine, that put us in a good mood until we saw the price of the coffee. The seven of us sped back to Swansea with a nice little tailwind, a good morning’s riding. Bob H.
November 19th 2017
As I gazed avariciously at Jeremy D’s mushroom omelette,(we are in County cycles having coffee) when I spied four senior cyclists who said they were from five roads cycling club! “Which five roads do you mean” I queried? THE “five roads” they said indignantly,” look at our jerseys” We said we were from Cardiff! Andy D & Rob M. physically restrained me from getting out my credit card and buying a beautiful red Trek racer for £480. “Stop you idiot” said Simon H. It’s not £480……….it’s £4800. Ouch! The 8 of us then set off in pleasant sunshine for Ammanford and GCG with Jeremy D. disappearing into the distance never to be seen again (must have been the omelette) We split at Pontardawe and I reminded Chris R. to watch Alice Roberts on T.V. this week as we are “Alice addicts” I asked him what would he prefer to have, Alice or the red Trek? Yes! you’ve guessed it……….the red Trek!! See you next week. Bob H.
November 12th 2017
I can’t change gear” I said to Ian T. as we splashed, surfed and aquaplaned down the Neath valley. “Why not?”asked Simon H. My fingers were completely frozen,I could hardly move them from the ‘bars. Simon H. advised us not to take a hot bath or shower when we arrived home or we could develop chilblains….. Hair loss, impotence, madness and eventual death. I was worried about the hair loss! Chris R. Said “we should have stopped at the Little Chef for that coffee , …..as we approached Cadoxton, maybe we should turn around and go back!!” The cold and wet can have strange effects on some people! Must end now as .I am busy ordering waterproof gloves. Bob H.
November 5th 2017
We had barely reached Clydach when Simon H. Suffered a broken spoke in his front wheel.He headed back home muttering something about visiting Jeremy Rees. My speedometer showed 2 m.p.h, as I crawled up the hill out of Pontardawe.(we really ought to give that hill a name).If that wasn’t soul destroying enough it came to rain again.Ian T. seeing my poor state decided to abandon Carreg Cennen and head for cafe in Ystadgynlais instead.Chris R. Rob M. Ian T. Sat down for a warming coffee and bacon butty. Three other cyclists entered, one wearing a club jersey! They claimed they were ex members from 20 years ago! I don’t know what woodwork they came out of. Annoyingly the rain stopped when we reached Neath. Happy cycling! Bob H.