Sunday summary

 Swansea Wheelers 2018 Club Rides

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April 8th 2018

Isn’t it strange that members who when faced with incontrovertible evidence swear blind they have more club run points than appears on the result sheet. To avoid fighting and the kicking over of bikes outside the King Arthur some members had to be physically restrained. Some claimed more points than there were club runs,others wanted extra points for having a pump and lights! some others wanted the points back dated to the year 2000!! others wanted points for Sunday’s when there was no club run!!! New member Andy Jones looked terrified and said he didn’t want any points anyway. Ian T. who wanted no part in the fighting dashed off to Majorca for 2 weeks,whilst Trev.L and Steve P disappeared off to the Cotswold, claiming they were taking part in some weird race  called the”hell of the Cotswolds” It was hell here let me tell you!  There were only six of us but it was a lovely ride around the Gower,and welcome back to Mark Williams.  See you next week.  Bob H.

March 25th 2018

Mary Berry would have been pleased to see the Wheelers tackle the great County cycles cake fest. A sponge lovingly and laboriously prepared by the lady from the Builth Wells sportive,vanished in seconds. Meanwhile Dave G. and myself quaffed coffee in the Subway in Ammanford, yes the coffee machine after endless repairs is now working. The ascent of Mynydd –y-Gwair was relatively benign this year with favourable weather conditions, but suddenly there was an almighty gust of wind. Rob M and I were blown sideways as Steve P. stormed past leaving us wide eyed in astonishment. Seems he wanted to be in the front for the new web site photo! See you all for the Rhys Williams charity ride next Sat. Bob H.

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March 11th 2018

Led by the “Red Devils” (Specialised bike team) we ploughed our way up the Swansea valley into a headwind. Ian T. had that worrying feeling that “something is missing” only to discover that he had left his helmet at home!  Jeremy D. lost the sprint for the Crai sign when his chain derailed, but was cheered up when he tasted his “Stout marinated cheese rarebit” at the Old School in Defynnog. “Chappeau” he cried to the Dutch proprietress who said he was “naughty” We splashed through the banks of snow on the climb through the Glas Fyrydd forest and over the top to Taffern –y-Garreg. on the fast wind assisted descent Jeremy D. punctured on a stone and called for the team car. Hopefully we all got home before the rain. Bob H.

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February 18th 2018

Just how many Swansea wheelers does it take to repair a puncture standing in cow muck on a windy Stormy Down? Answer…just Trev. Plus half a dozen ineffective pumps of all sizes and shapes and a selection of inner tubes of miniscule dimensions!  Thanks to Steve P. we would still be standing there. We eventually reached Sidoli’s where we were ushered to the far corner to be kept away from decent people who were likely to catch something nasty from us like leprosy, syphilis or chilblains. After we untangled the bikes from maze of bike lock cables we had a pleasant ride home with the wind behind us floating down the Margam by-pass bemused at riders struggling in the opposite direction.  It’s not so flat next week!    Bob H.

Feb 11 2018  

“Did you hear about that”?  What? “The fire brigade had to be called out last Sunday after Trevor Lloyds cycling shorts caught fire after over revving down the Swansea valley”  He generated so much heat on a dinner plate gear of 34 x –54  that smoke came from his backside. Jeremy D. said “I’m not riding behind him in case the flames spread”  Lessons have been learnt. He was seen this Sunday on a “normal winter bike” (and new shorts) Talking about new, John Cundy turns up on a state of the art new Cube carbon fibre super de lux! I think he must be getting serious.  I am still taking the sea sickness tablets after the disturbing motions of the infamous Pantyffynon bridge. Great news for all you time triallists….they are resurfacing large sections of the Neath valley.Next club run in that area, Feb.25th.  All for now, see you next week,  Bob H.

February 4th 2018

Who’s that? Who’s that coming round the roundabout?  It can’t be…it’s …..John Franklyn! So he hadn’t run away to join the circus after all. The rumours people make up , honestly. What next? they’ll be saying wild exaggerations like “ Trevor Lloyd was EARLY this morning. The 12 of us tried to ride behind Simon H into a freezing wind up the Swansea valley. Regrettably four of had had enough by the time we got to Tavern-y-Garreg and decided to retreat to the cafe in Ystradgynlais to discuss ATM machines and Netflix. I hope the rest of you had some nourishing bacon butties at Sennybridge and got home safely.  Bob H.

January 14th 2018

7 started from Liberty, picked up 3 in Gowerton off down to Port Eynon,the only problem cafes closed. Back up the hill to Archery centre for coffee , lost Rob in orange jacket. punched on way out of Port Eynon. We all got back, Trev with a Dinner plate on his back wheel went up and down Swansea valley, to but 1 or 2 miles in.

January 7th 2018

“C’mon” said Rob M.  we have to meet Steve P. at Penllergaer and Trevor has a painful ankle.. Let’s get going it’s freezing here! “ Watch the ice” said Simon H. as we headed for Chemical road. When we reached Steve we decided to split into two groups, the faster heading for Carreg Cennen and the slower to Subway Cafe in Ammanford. We tucked into our Balaclavas and slogged our way through Pontardulais and Fforest and Ammanford.  We discussed what was going on the agenda for the forthcoming A.G.M. over the worst hot chocolate I have ever experienced. “At least it is piping hot” said Ian T.   Hope everyone survived the freezing wind on the way home.

December 31st 2017

“Do you think he’s using Salbutamol”? I asked Ian. T as we surfed down the North Gower road. “Do you mean Froome” he queried? No!, I said, I mean Rob.M. “He’s going like a bat out of hell” “He’s probably on Fairwood common by now”  I was trying to ward off the sleepiness that had overcome me by staying too long by the log fire in the King Arthur. Jeremy D.(I’ve just discovered Fausto   Coppi) rode like a “good’un” despite having a bad cold, Trev can now stand on the pedals,(he’s quite strong enough sitting down,thanks) and newcomer John got round the course with encouragement from club run points leader Ian T.  Happy new year, see you next week.  Hope your cold gets better Andy and I hope your cat recovers Simon!     Bob H.

December 3rd 2017

Guess what?…a siren went off as we past the Tata steel company, Rob. M said he would be first through the door if there was a gas leak, never mind “Women and children first” maxim. Talking about gas, it was full gas through the lanes to Tondu and onto Maesteg,despite the fact that the Col de Caereau lay between us and the Afan valley. Such was our fear of the brute that we forego a stop at the “Valley cafe” and pressed on to grovel up it’s slopes in the cold wet drizzle. There are various phases ones legs go through when taking a hammering. It starts with a sudden feeling of “unresponsiveness” before the “wooden”phase begins. This soon degenerates into the “Leaden” phase before somewhere near the top one loses any residual feeling altogether and cannot stand without assistance!.   Sustenance (and a quick check to see if the afore mention legs were still attached) was had at the Lodge halfway down the Afan valley. Yours truly pressed on just in case the “can’t bend them” phase set in”
(Must end now as my wife is about to unbend my legs with a crow bar)  P.S sorry Steve, It’s Ferryside next week!!

November 26th 2017

“It sets your teeth on edge”, doesn’t it?   Jeremy D’s disc brakes I mean. Ian T handed out the ear plugs before we left the Liberty. We rendezvoused with Steve P at Gowerton, he claimed he could hear Jeremy’s brakes in Waunarlwydd! The roads were dry and the traffic was light and we reached Rhossili in sunshine, that put us in a good mood until we saw the price of the coffee. The seven of us sped back to Swansea with a nice little tailwind, a good morning’s riding. Bob H.

November 19th 2017

As I gazed avariciously at Jeremy D’s mushroom omelette,(we are in County cycles having coffee) when I spied four senior cyclists who said they were from five roads cycling club! “Which five roads do you mean” I queried? THE “five roads” they said indignantly,” look at our jerseys” We said we were from Cardiff!  Andy D & Rob M. physically restrained me from getting out my credit card and buying a beautiful red Trek racer for £480. “Stop you idiot” said Simon H. It’s not £480……….it’s £4800.  Ouch!  The 8 of us then set off in pleasant sunshine for Ammanford and GCG with Jeremy D. disappearing into the distance never to be seen again (must have been the omelette) We split at Pontardawe and I reminded Chris R. to watch Alice Roberts on T.V. this week as we are “Alice addicts”  I asked him what would he prefer to have, Alice or the red Trek?   Yes! you’ve guessed it……….the red Trek!!   See you next week.  Bob H.

November 12th 2017

I can’t change gear” I said to Ian T. as we splashed, surfed and aquaplaned down the Neath valley. “Why not?”asked Simon H. My fingers were completely frozen,I could hardly move them from the ‘bars. Simon H. advised us not to take a hot bath or shower when we arrived home or we could develop chilblains…..  Hair loss, impotence, madness and eventual death. I was worried about the hair loss!  Chris R. Said “we should have stopped at the Little Chef for that coffee , … we approached Cadoxton, maybe we should turn around and go back!!” The cold and wet can have strange effects on some people!   Must end now as .I am busy ordering waterproof gloves. Bob H.

November 5th 2017

We had barely reached Clydach when Simon H. Suffered a broken spoke in his front wheel.He headed back home muttering something about visiting Jeremy Rees. My speedometer showed 2 m.p.h, as I crawled up the hill out of Pontardawe.(we really ought to give that hill a name).If that wasn’t soul destroying enough it came to rain again.Ian T. seeing my poor state decided to abandon Carreg Cennen and head for cafe in Ystadgynlais instead.Chris R. Rob M. Ian T. Sat down for a warming coffee and bacon butty. Three other cyclists entered, one wearing a club jersey! They claimed they were ex members from 20 years ago! I don’t know what woodwork they came out of.  Annoyingly the rain stopped when we reached Neath.  Happy cycling!  Bob H.